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50 of the funniest jokes about Brexit

eu jokes pullquote

It’s a complicated and divisive time for politics, and whether or not you voted for or towards Brexit, the way it will all pan out appears – at this level at the very least – quite unsure.

However given our wealthy custom of comedy about critical subjects on this nation, there’s all the time humour to be discovered.

Listed here are 50 of the greatest jokes about Brexit.

(Warning: incorporates robust language)

“A lot of Leave voters say ‘Stop complaining, it’s democracy!’ Well democracy doesn’t always work. If five people democratically elect to take your iPhone, it’s a mugging.” – Dane Baptiste

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman stroll right into a bar.
The Englishman needed to go so all of them needed to depart. #Brexitjokes

— Son of Robespierre #CampaignAgainstBrexit #FBPE (@sonofr) September eight, 2017

“I voted Remain, not just for political reasons but because my mum’s moved to Spain and I want her to stay there.” – Leo Kearse

“I was angry about the whole Brexit and free movement thing but then I realised I haven’t been on a holiday since 2012 and I’m broke anyway so how much worse can it get?” – Kae Kurd

Good to see bookshops getting concerned. #PeoplesVoteMarch

— Craig Stone (@craigstone_) October 20, 2018

“Why does Britain like tea so much? Because tea leaves.” – Anon

Why do we’d like any color passport? We should always simply have the ability to shout, “British! Less of your nonsense!” and stroll straight via.

— Simon Blackwell (@simonblackwell) December 22, 2017

“How about that Brexit, huh? I’ve haven’t seen so many Brits pull out since Madonna was dating.” – Conan O’Brien’s ‘Brexitbot’

That is like when Geri Halliwell overestimated her viability as a solo artist and left the Spice Women. #Brexit

— Sir Slay (@TheBlackHermit) June 24, 2016

Bond movies to final 30% longer with scenes of his passport being extra closely scrutinised between unique European locales.

— Ben (@0point5twins) June 25, 2016

“People were confused by the arguments either way – they interviewed people the next day on the news, one bloke was like ‘I voted leave but I didn’t really want to leave Europe’ – there were two options on the form, how did you screw that up? Another bloke said ‘I just voted Leave to get the Muslims out’ – he’s in for a shock when he finds out Muslims don’t come from Luxembourg.” – Leo Kearse

Q: With Britain leaving the EU how a lot area was created?
A: Precisely 1GB

— Chris Saint (@saintpiercing) June 25, 2016

What did Britain say to its commerce companions? “See EU later.” – Anon

VOTERS: we need to give a ship a ridiculous identify
UK: no
VOTERS: we need to break up the EU and trash the world financial system
UK: wonderful

— the library haunter 🦉🎄❄ (@SketchesbyBoze) June 24, 2016

“Brexit is having a wee in the middle of the room at a house party because nobody is talking to you, and then complaining about the smell.” – Matt Abbott

“Brexit will make prices go up in Britain, so it will cost them twice as much to not go to the dentist.” – Conan O’Brien’s ‘Brexitbot’

Knock knock
Who’s there?
Brexit who?
It isn’t my job to inform you that, work it out for your self.#brexitjokes

— Nick Pettigrew (@Nick_Pettigrew) June 26, 2016

“Roy Hodgson has just been made Prime Minister. He has a fantastic record of leaving Europe swiftly.” – Anon

I am not giving up my seat to the aged anymore. Eye for an eye fixed.

— VUJ (@DavidVujanic) June 24, 2016

Bond movies to final 30% longer with scenes of his passport being extra closely scrutinised between unique European locales.

— Ben (@0point5twins) June 25, 2016

“I don’t think we should have voted. I can barely rate a film on Netflix, don’t leave big decisions in my hands. Brexit is a terrible name for it, sounds like cereal you eat when you are constipated.” – Tiff Stevenson

“Check out the guy who wanted Brexit [Boris Johnson]. What a tall drink of gravy, more like ‘Game of Scones’! He looks like Donald Trump if he drowned.” – Conan O’Brien’s ‘Brexitbot’

Have we tried unplugging 2016 ready ten seconds and plugging it again in?

— DongWon (@dongwon) June 24, 2016

“Brexit was like the UK got drunk and accidentally unfriended Europe on Facebook.” – Leo Kearse

“David Cameron announced he is stepping down in the wake of a vote, which should make me happy, but it doesn’t. It’s like catching an ice cream cone out of the air, because a child has been hit by a car. I’ll eat it! But it’s tainted somehow.” – John Oliver

“Wow this passport’s fancy. Must have some kickass features. How many countries do you have the right to work in on this bad boy?”
“Huh. Still, blue though… Pretty fucking snazzy.”

— James Felton (@JimMFelton) December 22, 2017

“‘In and out’, it’s a very hard decision. It’s like the other day, my flatmate was making me a peppermint tea, and he said ‘would you like bag leaving in, or taken out?’ If you leave the bag in, on the whole the cup of tea itself will get stronger, and it might appear that the bag is getting weaker, but it’s now part of a stronger cup of tea. Whereas if you take the bag out, the tea’s now quite weak, but the bag itself goes directly in the bin.” – James Acaster

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“I was surprised when people kept voting to keep Wagner on X Factor, and ever since then it’s never surprised me, our ability to mess up a vote.” – Alex Brooker

How did the Brexit hen cross the street?
“I never said there was a road. Or a chicken”.

— Nick Stevenson Deeply Unhelpful (@NickStevenson63) June 27, 2016

“What’s the best way of uniting Britain following Brexit? The unexpected death of an attractive Royal!” – The Man’s Daddy

[On the possibility of Brexit not happening] “No, you do not get out of Brexit. Because Brexit inspired everybody else to screw up their own countries. People running around, burning s*** down chanting ‘Brexit! Brexit!’ America elected ‘Mr. Brexit’!” – Trevor Noah

One of favorite indicators to date #PeoplesVoteMarch

— Rob Brooks (@brooksy500) October 20, 2018

“The whole thing is a f***-up, from start to f***. We have no negotiating position. The EU has a negotiating position, it’s this: “Well, f*** off then!” – Jonathan Pie

“[On the upcoming referendum] Nobody knows which way it’s going to go, and nobody knows which way it will go. All we know is that whichever way it goes, it will mean THE END OF THE WORLD! Already, Barbara Windsor has committed suicide on EastEnders in anticipation of Brexit.” – Giles Brandreth

After #brexit, when rapper 50 cent performs in GBR he’ll seem as 10.000 kilos. #brexitjokes

— Fredrik Reuter (@fredrik_reuter) June 25, 2016

“How many Brexiters does it take to change a lightbulb? Whoa, whoa, whoa. I didn’t say there was a lightbulb.” – Anon

“I deal with tough mathematical questions every day, but please don’t ask me to help with Brexit!” – Stephen Hawking

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Martin Clunes: “Pollsters have detected the nation’s almost catatonic with boredom, so they’ve been trying to liven things up, anyone know how they’ve been doing that?”
Ian Hislop: “Well, they’ve been trying to get younger people in by calling the referendum ‘Votey McVoteface’.”

“A Brexit deal could take ten years. That’s not fair. Most of the people who voted for it could be dead by then.” – Gary Lineker 

In the meantime India is simply blown away you can get Britain to go away by voting

— James Hell Brooks (@BobbyBigWheel) June 23, 2016

“The young people are surprised that the older people have done them over. All those year’s they spent hanging outside Tesco Metro, drinking, smoking, intimating them… these old people have just been waiting for their chance. And yesterday they thought ‘let’s see how you like listening to your drum ‘n’ bass on your phone when we’re out of the EU, you p****!” – Alex Brooker

I do know it isn’t very “politically correct” to say it out loud however in the wasteland of ruined Britain I’m going to hunt and eat previous individuals

— Steve Hogarty (@misterbrilliant) June 24, 2016

“Let’s get one thing clear, personally I in no way believe that all those who voted for Brexit are racist or stupid. People voted based on the information (albeit limited and misleading) put before them by politicians. We could just as easily have arrived at a result by counting belly buttons. Innies Vs Outies. Turns out we are a nation of outies.” – Sajeela Kershi

Fave signal to date #PeoplesVoteMarch

— TobyZiegler. Cat by identify, Cat by nature. (@CatTobyZiegler) October 20, 2018

“[On Brexit negotiations] It feels a bit like British people on tour talking to foreigners in that way of going ‘what we want, is we don’t want free movement but we want access to the single market’ and they’re going ‘well, you cannot have that’ and we’re going ‘no you don’t understand, WE WANT…” – Hal Cruttenden

I lengthy for the easier days when #Brexit was only a time period for leaving brunch early.

— erin mallory lengthy (@erinmallorylong) June 24, 2016

“Brexit is boring. It and Donald Trump are horrible and pretending there is any nuance left more than that is a waste of time. If the audience can write the same political jokes as you, you don’t belong on stage.” – Sid Singh

Say goodbye to croissants, individuals. Scrumptious croissants. We’re caught with crumpets FOREVER.

— Matthew Stanger (@MatthewStanger) June 24, 2016

“Michael Gove’s right, we don’t need expert analysis. Especially now, they’re all saying we’re screwed.” – Anon

Howdy, I’m from Britain, you realize, the one which obtained tricked by a bus

— Ahir Shah (@AhirShah) February eight, 2017

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